I think I am ready to come back

After a long absence, I think I am ready to start posting again.

It's been a crazy five months--heck, a crazy year!--and I've been going through a bit of a tough time since Noah's birth. For a long time I felt emotionally paralyzed and unable to communicate, especially in writing (even if I'd had the time, which I didn't).

I knew even while I was going through it that I was experiencing postpartum depression, or something very close to it. I started to emerge a couple of months ago and have been getting steadily better since then. I didn't have to go on any medication, and I'm thankful for that.

I've changed in ways I can't even explain at this point. The utter despair and helplessness I felt after Noah's birth (combined, of course, with joy and wonder) made me feel like I am back at square one when it comes to some things I used to hold strong opinions about.

Opinions about motherhood and parenting really don't mean squat until you are one--unless it's something straight from the Word. If it's not straight from the Word, there's room for families to be different. You could sum up my thoughts this way: "Gee, God, I just found out that I don't know anything." I didn't realize I had become arrogant and overly opinionated--but I had. You name something, I probably had an opinion about how it should best be done.

I'd like to say I am out of the pundit business, but that's probably not true. Heh.

This blog might be pretty choppy from now on. I don't have the time I did before. But it's good just to post...just to put something out there and try to remember that I have a voice, I have a little family out here, and I am not alone in my new journey.

God's Amazing, Admirable Character

I've been remembering with gratitude lately that the Lord is fully aware of how hard it is to be a new mom. This passage came to mind:

Isaiah 40:1-5, 9-11
Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God. Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned: for she hath received of the LORD's hand double for all her sins. The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the LORD, make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain: And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.

O Zion, that bringest good tidings, get thee up into the high mountain; O Jerusalem, that bringest good tidings, lift up thy voice with strength; lift it up, be not afraid; say unto the cities of Judah, Behold your God! Behold, the Lord GOD will come with strong hand, and his arm shall rule for him: behold, his reward is with him, and his work before him. He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.

These verses remind me how God cares for me, how tender His heart is toward His people, and how well He knows the difficulties of caring for young children. I am just discovering it, but He knew it all along, and He can prepare and sustain me.

When I was first coming to know the Lord, when I first began intently reading the Bible, I was drawn to everything I discovered about the character of God. If He had simply created us and nourished us, He'd be worthy and deserving of our worship--it would be His due. But He's so much more than a Creator, and He's taken such great pains to reveal His heart to us. It's overwhelming to me while I read, or as I pray or reflect, at times.

Nothing can justly be required of God. He answers to no one. He is sufficient unto Himself--he doesn't, you know, need anything. And yet He cares, He helps, He suffered for us, He listens, He mends...He comforts.

That boggles my mind, because if we're going to be perfectly honest, my motives are selfish probably most of the time, and when they're not, I'm sure that's the work of the Spirit. I often do things because I need something, I want something, or there's something in it for me. God loves because HE IS. The very One on whom there can be no justified expectation of anything on our parts, the very One who owes no one anything and needs nothing, is the One who has loved, given, served, created, nourished, preserved, aided, transformed, and saved a people (you and me) who didn't deserve or earn anything.

As I read about the Lord, I see a God that not only deserves worship kind of by default, but whom I really like and admire. I hope that doesn't sound too strange. Granted, we only know what "goodness" is because He has defined and demonstrated it. But over and over in the Word, I see more than a loving God. He could be 'loving' and not go as far as He does. I see amazing, unfathomable mercy. I don't deserve such compassion and comfort from Him--but as I come to Him, expecting a reproof or coldness, He gives warmth, forgiveness, and an open embrace. If I'm sounding like the Prodigal, it's because I am thinking of that parable. Can any of us ever read about that Father coming to greet his dirty, formerly rebellious son without tears? What have we done to deserve the ring, the sandals, the fatted calf? Nothing. In fact, we did everything to forfeit such treatment, just like the Prodigal.

And yet, here he comes to meet me, arms outstretched.

I am thankful that He is who He is, even while I am everything I am.

Woman's Sanity Still Intact Three Weeks after Birth of Son

I just thought it sounded like a good headline. Or how about "Woman Miraculously Survives Same Event That Every Other Mother in the World Has Survived"? Nah, too wordy.

Noah is asleep on my lap in a sling (I'm not happy with it, but am too poor to get another one right now), so I have the luxury of two-hand typing! What joy!

First, I'll update you on my daily routine. My life right now consists exclusively of:

1. Feeding Noah
2. Trying to find a place he'll agree to sleep for more than five minutes
3. Realizing that #2 is unrealistic, and anyway, he needs a diaper change
4. Holding Noah
5. Trying to burp Noah and grab a swig of water at the same time
6. Seizing 1.5 hours at a time at night to attempt to sleep, but wait--he needs a diaper change, and wait, now he's hungry...

That about covers it, I think. He eats almost constantly. I think we're in a growth spurt that has lasted about three weeks of his three-week life.

Thank you for your prayers about his birth. The most important request, for a healthy baby, was generously answered by God. The birth experience was...not what I'd hoped for. Can I omit the details if I just give summary words? Here you go: stalled labor, pitocin, artificial rupturing of membranes, epidural, two-hour pushing while numb, 3rd degree tear and episiotomy (sorry to any gentlemen reading this!). Enough said.

The first week or so after Noah's birth I was the most sleep-deprived I've ever been in my life; labor was over 24 hours, and since we first came to the hospital at 11PM, we hadn't slept since the night before, anyway. I was exhausted. Add to that the raging postpartum hormones, and...I was a basket case. Thus the quip below about holding on to my sanity. I felt totally overwhelmed, fat, tired, drained (literally and figuratively), worried about Noah's growth and my milk supply, and just plain emotional. I cried every day and worried about Post-Partum Depression.

This week has been a lot better. I feel more like myself, I was able to get to the gym, and I haven't cried every day. Ryan has been a champ the whole time--I can't imagine a father doing more than he's done. Breastfeeding is going well; Noah passed his birth weight last week and now weighs over 8 lbs 4 oz.

You know, everyone talks about pitocin being very painful. For me, it wasn't; I wasn't in terrible pain until my water was broken. I was at 4 cm and he was low. The pain almost immediately became un. bearable. Indescribable. Until then, things felt like the books said they would, and I managed the contractions well. It hurt, mind you, but it was manageable. After the ROM, it was NOT manageable and I requested an epidural. Unfortunately, the epidural wasn't turned off when I needed to push, and I couldn't feel a thing (even though the nurse was telling me I could--thanks!). After two hours of fruitless pushing--his head was visible but we just couldn't get him OUT--the doctor did what he had to do.

Man, I said I wasn't going into detail, and there I went.

But the end result is amazing and beautiful: this precious baby boy that I can hardly stand to let go of! He smiles and laughs, and it's not gas. I don't care what anyone says. I don't know what he's laughing at, exactly, but it's clear sometimes that something is amusing him.

I appreciate you guys more than I can tell you. Right now, feeling so alone and overwhelmed, reading your good wishes and comments has been such a comfort. I feel like the worst is over emotionally and am looking forward to climbing this mountain. Truly, the hardest job I've ever tackled.

Noah Has Arrived!

Noah Daniel arrived at 10:43 PM Saturday, January 20! He weighed in at 7.5 pounds and measured 20.75 inches. As you see, he's completely precious. He's already firmly established his character in the "sweet and snuggly" category. I can't believe anything can smell and look so perfect.

I have been completely exhausted this week. I just had my longest stretch of sleep in 7 days--three hours in duration. Bliss.

I'll have more to say soon. Right now I am just working on holding on to my sanity (not an easy task).

Long-Overdue Update (AKA: Yes, I am alive!)

Thanks to everyone who has written or called--you guys are the best. I really appreciate just knowing that if I dropped off the face of the earth, someone would care! I didn't intend to do that, exactly, but...anyway.

Noah Daniel is doing well, and is still in the womb! I am 38 weeks today, and Ryan and I can't wait to SEE our little man in person. As I was telling Shannon the other day, I still can't believe that I am going to have a BABY in my arms, in my house, in just a matter of days. Even though I can feel his kicks and movements inside me, it's surreal...and maybe it will be until he's here.

So--any last-minute advice for a nervous mom?

I really, REALLY appreciate any prayers for a healthy delivery. I'd like to do this without any drugs (no epidural, etc.), and am praying to that end. God is in control. I am not afraid of labor and birth. It's that whole BEING A STEWARD OVER A CHILD thing that has me flummoxed!

The first thing that pops into my mind...

...do you really want to know this stuff?

Apparently, Jenn does, because she tagged me with her Four Word Meme. I have to tell you what comes to my mind with these four words she's given me: encumbered, lofty, exaggerate, and bowel. Yep, bowel.

Encumbered: Is it just me, or when you hear or read certain words, do little pictures come into your mind that kind of illustrate that word? When I think of "encumbered," I think of a wizened man lugging a large, heavy sack up a hill, struggling under his load. I think of something attached to you that makes it hard to get around.

I think of this scripture:

Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Doesn't that sound easy? "Lay aside." I think we make it harder than God says it is...and He's always right. If he says I can lay down this sack of sin I'm lugging up the hill with me, then I can.

Lofty: again, a word picture in my mind. "Lofty" makes me think of high clouds--cirrus clouds. My goals are loftier than my execution or results, more often than not. I was talking to a good friend on the phone yesterday about her homeschooling. She was lamenting her tendency to "always want to finish what she starts" with her three boys! I laughed at her, because to me that seems like an admirable trait; I can't seem to finish anything I start. I should get some kind of award for how many things I've started and not finished. Yeah. Do I get a pass because I am almost in my third trimester and am working two jobs?

Exaggerate: I tend to be one of those people who speak very hyperbolically. To me, something was either "just the other day" or "a long time ago." Something that happened two months ago could be one or the other depending on my mood or intent.

This drives Ryan crazy, especially when I say, "I don't know; it was just the other day." That's what happens when a dreamy bookworm marries a software engineer, who must be precise and, well, the opposite of hyperbolic in order to survive in his work. He inevitably says, "Kristen, that was five months ago!" The truth is that he's lucky if I remember any details of anything at all, whether it occurred months or weeks ago. Pregnancy has only made this worse.

And now, the one you've been waiting for:

Bowel: This is actually a great word, and I could talk a good deal about my (or your) bowels. Hope you're not eating right now. I will endeavor to be as delicate as possible when I ruminate, how's that?

I have learned many things about bowels lately. May I share?

1. If Bowel ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
2. Your sweet Bowel is far less likely to be his usual chipper self when you're pregnant. You have to entertain your moody Bowel with lots of Kashi Autumn Wheat, double fiber bread, water, and orange juice. If that doesn't work, the naughty Bowel may be spa nk ed (sorry, don't want weirdos finding this site) with prunes. So far mine has been behaving itself. (Aren't you happy we're having this discussion?)
3. Bowels and probiotics get along FAMOUSLY. You will be amazed at their instant and loving rapport. I highly recommend getting some probiotics to teach your Bowel how to play nice.

I suppose that's enough Bowel rumination for today.

Any questions? What--you never want me to post again?? What did I say?

I don't usually tag people, but if you think this meme is fun, try your hand at knickers, salivate, weep, and aspire.

Breaking News from BHC!

Our church has podcast sermons you can subscribe to!

If there were a way to transmit a joyful shriek across this medium, that's what you'd be hearing from me right now. (Okay, so there's probably a way to do that, but I'll spare you my joyful shriek. THIS time.)

Blessed Hope Chapel Podcasts

Joe Schimmel's sermons were used by the Lord to change our lives in so many ways. I am really excited for others to hear the great preaching that comes out of that little church in Simi Valley.

The Opposite of Proverbs 31?

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about this a few days ago, and in my sleepy state I thought about delving more deeply into it later. Like, not at 4 AM. (Hope you didn't want me to do it right then, Lord!)

We all are familiar with the Proverbs 31 Woman. She's an ideal in some ways--we could discuss whether ALL of her attributes are attainable for one woman with some difference of opinion, I am sure--but she represents, at least in my mind, a beautiful goal for a woman who follows the Lord. I quote the whole passage here, and have highlighted some parts I particularly love or aspire to, and that will apply to the point I'm making in this post:

Proverbs 31:10-31

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
'Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.'
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

I believe there is a woman in the Bible whom we could examine as the Proverbs Wife's opposite. Sure, there are other examples, and it'd be interesting to look at Jezebel or Michal and contrast them, too.

But I woke up thinking about Job's wife.

Quick refresher on Job's situation: Job is wealthy, prosperous, and righteous, with a large family. Satan gets permission from God to attack Job's circumstances (and eventually, his body), with the caveat that Satan cannot kill Job. Job loses house, herds/livestock, children, and health, and is left with nothing but the boils on his body...and his wife. All this has happened to test Job; he's done nothing against the Lord that has caused his pain.

So what does his sweet, loving wife have to say to him? What words of comfort does she bring at his worst hour?

Job 2:8-10
And he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself while he sat in the ashes.

Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die." But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

Job wonders at the distance that's suddenly between them:

Job 19:17
My breath is strange to my wife,
and I am a stench to the children of my own mother.

Every wife--every woman--will be remembered somehow. What memories of you will your closest relatives keep or your children inherit? A legacy is crafted not just by what I do in the good times, when everything is going well for me, but in the worst of times, when what I truly hold to, be it selfish pride, anger, or the Word of the Lord, will be tested.

The Proverbs Wife's husband could count on her; his heart "safely trusts in her" through the experience that comes with time and, inevitably, hardship as well as ease. That's how (mature) trust is developed. Job's wife demolished any trust he may have had in her with her bitter speech and her angry abandonment.

"She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."

I woke up struck by the contrast between these two women, and the consciousness that in my reactions to and attitude toward my husband every day, I resemble one or the other. I've seen my negative or scornful attitude crush him, and I've seen my gentleness soften him. Women in any household, married or unmarried, mother or daughter, hold so much responsibility for the household's ethos. Of course, we don't hold that responsibility alone (!), but we can't make others' decisions for them: we must say to ourselves daily, "As for me, I will serve the Lord."

I pray with all my heart that the Lord will help His daughters, who love His name, to be like the gentle and industrious woman whom King Lemuel's mother extolled, and not like Job's angry, frustrated harpy.

Major Baby Update!

On Friday, Ryan, both sets of grandparents (yep, you read that right) and I went to the local high-risk OB for my 20 week appointment. It's my OB/GYN's standard practice to send all patients there for a mid-pregnancy 3D ultrasound.

My reaction to this was, of course, sophisticated and nonplussed. Let's see if I can remember what I said:

"YEE-HAW, RYAN!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GET ONE OF THEM NEW-FANGLED 3D ULTRASOUNDS!"

Or something like that. Cool as a cucumber, that's me.

Anyway, we trooped into the doctor's office with our horde. We truly sounded like a herd of elephants thundering across the plains, I think. I felt sorry for any poor soul who might walk in the door to, you know, go to the doctor. They might have expected a normal, quiet, peaceful doctor's waiting room, and what they would have gotten instead was a carnival. But--and I was thankful--no one but us darkened the door.

In truth, the techs and nurses were extremely kind and accomodating. (I think we weren't the first family to decide to have a family reunion at that location...)

We emerged from the office with a videotape, several regular and several 3D photos, and--let's just say 100% confidence that we have a little Noah Frith coming into our lives in just a few months.

Perhaps you'd like to meet him? I'll spare you the, uh, money shot.

Here he's all scrunched against my side, but you can see his cute little face!


Here are his little feet:


Everything looked perfect and wonderful. Noah was sucking his thumb when the transducer showed the first image of him. CUTE!

We got to see his little four-chambered heart beating (143 bpm); they can even show you the blood flow through the chambers as well as the cord! The grandparents in particular were blown away by the advancement of technology.

I can't wait to hold my son.

Branching Out Again: FOOD!

I made Chicken Picadillo from a recipe I got from Cooking Light the other day. More on that in a minute.

*Shameless Plug for Cooking Light*
If I could buy a magazine for every newlywed, it might be this one. Especially newlyweds who, like me, had a rather limited repertoire of dishes at which he or she is an expert. (Mine consisted of Pop Tarts, spaghetti--I was proud of that one--a mean batch of brownies from a mix, and Lean Cuisine pizzas.)

Enter Cooking Light. And no, I'm not on their payroll (though if they'd like to give me a free lifetime subscription, I am all ears.) I would really say that this magazine taught me to cook; I blossomed, in about a year, from Pop Tart Queen to Ardent Recipe Disciple. Now that's progress!

CL just draws you into becoming a foodie. As you experience new tastes and aromas, and as you see how wonderfully one spice or dish can complement another, you join the ranks of folks who are no longer just diners: they're Epicureans (not in the sense of 'devoted to sensual pleasure', but in the sense of 'one with sensitive and discriminating tastes, especially in food or wine').

One of my favorite CL features is their travel section, in which the writer details a trip you could take, giving dining and sightseeing suggestions for your itinerary. The photography and reviews make you feel as though you have a real sense of the place, the community, being described.

ANYWAY.

I made Chicken Picadillo (except that mine was turkey). Here's the recipe, but you can also find it here.

1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breast [I used lean turkey]
2 teaspoons olive oil
1 cup chopped onion
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup bottled salsa
1/3 cup golden raisins
1/4 cup slivered almonds, toasted
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
Fresh cilantro sprigs (optional)

Place chicken in a food processor; pulse until ground. [That's for the birds! Buy it ground and save yourself time!]
Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, and cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add chicken, cumin, salt, cinnamon, and garlic, and cook for 3 minutes or until chicken is done, stirring frequently. Stir in salsa and raisins. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer for 5 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Stir in almonds and cilantro. Garnish with cilantro sprigs, if desired.

Yield: 4 servings (serving size: about 1 cup)

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 257(26% from fat); FAT 7.5g (sat 1g,mono 4.2g,poly 1.5g); PROTEIN 29.6g; CHOLESTEROL 66mg; CALCIUM 74mg; SODIUM 762mg; FIBER 3.2g; IRON 2.2mg; CARBOHYDRATE 19g

Here's the review I wrote for the website:

"This was simply incredible...one of my favorite recipes, ever. I made it with ground turkey and upped the amount of raisins and almonds. The cinnamon is a KEY ingredient and lends excellent flavor! I served the dish over brown rice with garbanzo and black beans, with a generous dollop or two of reduced-fat sour cream. My husband asked me to double the recipe next time so we'll have tons of leftovers! Very easy to reheat."

Let me reiterate that part about the sour cream. USE LOTS. MMMMMM.

Anyone think this would work with beef? I'd like to make it for my mom and dad, but dad has some kind of poultry grudge.

It Can Make All the Difference

How you say something can matter as much, or more, than what you say.

Take, as a case in point, the couple who is trying to conceive. One of my dearest friends, Katie, has started her blog, and one of her first posts, Where is Baby #2?, hits the nail on the head.

It's so painful to want a baby and not have one. Period. I don't care if you have five children or none, an ache is present in the heart of a couple who hasn't conceived when they wished. With that ache, though, can come valuable growth and lessons from the Lord, which Katie expounds upon.

I was thinking, though, after she and I talked on the phone last evening, that people don't think much about asking these questions that cause pain; they mean to be conversational:

"So, when are you guys going to have kids?"

As though we can snap our fingers and--*POOF!*--a child is born! But for so many people who conceive easily, or seemingly at will, it's not an inane question. If people perceive it's been too long and a baby SHOULD BE on the WAY BY NOW, woe to the couple who is bombarded with well-intentioned but increasingly nosy questions! And if you already have a child, everyone assumes you are putting off having another one on purpose.

"When are you giving Johnny a brother or sister?"
"I heard that only children ________________________!" (can't share, are selfish, freak out when their mothers are two feet away, grow up to kill people...)

And Kate's favorite,

"Where is Baby Number Two?"

What is the proper answer to that query? (Multiple choice test!)

A. "Um, I don't know, maybe I left him at Wal-Mart."

B. "Did she roll under the sofa again?"

C. NO WAY! I had a KID? COOL! Tell me all about it!

D. "NONE OF YOUR BIZ-WACK! LEMME TELL YOU, YOU'LL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. DON'T CALL ME, I'LL CALL YOU. OKAY? OKAY???"

I kind of like "C." "D" is tempting, but too manic.

My point, before I got lost in my own snarkiness and sarcasm, was that the subject isn't a forbidden one, but like all personal issues, it should be couched in genuine love for the human being you're addressing, and consideration for circumstances you may not have considered.

Don't assume that everyone can conceive when they feel like it. "When are you having another one?" should be banished, verboten verbage. I wouldn't even bring it up unless the person was a good friend--and if she was, I might ask gently in an intimate moment of sharing, "Do you and (husband) want any more children?" Give her the opportunity to tell you what she's feeling without being made to feel like there's a deadline she hasn't met or a general expectation she hasn't fulfilled.

And give Kate's post a look. It's filled with wisdom and confidence in the Lord that I find really refreshing.

Some Posts of Interest

I would hate for anyone to miss Rachel's incredible series at Home Works Best. She reviews a book I've never read, Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin. A cautionary note was always struck in my heart when I read/heard about that book. Rachel's posts are well worth checking out:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

In other news, everyone's favorite Molly and the talented Blest with Sons have thought-provoking posts about discernment: sometimes, what you think is exactly right, ain't. Oh, how we need the Holy Spirit to help us know when to shut up, when to warn, when to wait, and when to rethink our own perspectives! There's a time for ALL of those things, and more, but it takes discernment (har!) to know when to exercise which action. You all KNOW that I heartily believe in calling a spade a spade--not calling that which is evil, 'good', and that which is good, 'evil.' But with that responsibility comes a temptation to judge unrighteously. Boy, God doesn't like that a whole lot.

Dave Black included this picture in one of his recent posts, and it stole my heart and went straight to my desktop wallpaper.



Dave writes,

We've had lots of interest in our Bible memory program in Ethiopia, and some of you have asked us for the specific passages a person has to memorize before he or she can get a Bible in Amharic. Here they are: Psalms 1 and 23 (whole chapters), 1 Corinthians 13 (whole chapter), John 3:1-21, John 14:1-21, Romans 8:28-39, James 1:2-6, and 12-25, and Philippians 4:4-8. How many have completed the program, you ask? Between August and December, 2005, in the Burji district alone 800 young people (between age 7 and 18) completed it; then we opened the program to include adults and set a deadline of Sept. 10, 2006 (which is the end of their calendar year). We were told in May that 1,132 had completed it by then. We're expecting between 2000 and 2500 will have completed it by the September deadline. Each person is required to recite the verses to a church elder. In the Alaba District the numbers are much smaller because the Christian population is much smaller; this area is 99 percent Muslim, and especially the rural congregations are under severe persecution. Recently the church has had to take some of the young people who have come to Christ and put them into hiding to prevent their being murdered (as other young people have already been), so the situation is serious. For this reason, we have extended the deadline for the rural areas to Sept. 10, 2007. So far, we have distributed 450 in the Alaba district. It is a great joy to see these young people when they receive their very own Bibles.

Lord, I never want to take your Word, or my freedom, for granted.

Small Rant about Housing

We interrupt our regularly scheduled baby updates and exegesis to bring you this tirade...er...bulletin.

My father's an economist by education and was an Auditor for the General Accounting Office (now the Government Accountability Office, a much more accurate name) by trade, so you'll have to excuse me if I get a little amped about things like this.

Markets go up and come down with regularity. It's to be expected. Housing is no different, and just because some bubbles are bursting around the country, it doesn't mean the sky is falling. Please, don't descend into your bomb shelter just yet.

Try telling that to Avery Shenfeld and some other Chicken Littles of the financial world (link):

July home sales will be the chief focus of the markets, and the news probably won't be very encouraging. "The upcoming week will be a reminder that all's not well in the USA," said Avery Shenfeld, senior economist for CIBC World Markets.

Stu Hoffman, chief economist at PNC, says the housing data will be "ugly."

The slump in housing "has gained momentum in the past few months," said Mickey Levy, chief economist for Bank of America.

Sales of new homes are projected to fall about 3% to a seasonally adjusted annual rate of 1.10 million in July. The data will be released on Thursday. Except for February, when the weather didn't cooperate, 1.10 million would be the lowest sales rate in two years.

Um, let me get this straight. Because we're entering a totally normal, cyclical time of correction in the housing market, "all is not well in the USA?" Do we constantly have to GROW GROW GROW and BUY BUY BUY (or in this case, SELL SELL SELL) for things to be going well?

As for me and my house, boy howdy, we thought that $800,000 (on the low end) for a 3bd/2ba in California's Ventura County was just a bit steep. Funny that a few markets that are relatively reasonable, like Atlanta's, have still been seeing growth.

At least there are some voices of reason:

Nearly everyone agrees that housing is slowing. The debate is over how far housing will fall and what the impact the decline will have on the economy.
Some economists say housing won't fall too much further. "We look for evidence of a correction, not a collapse, in the housing market," said Drew Matus, an economist for Lehman Bros.

Thank you, Drew! Someone who isn't just looking for a headline!

The main concern is that consumer spending has been strong in the past few years only because of the gains in the housing market. Once wealth stops growing, consumer spending could slow sharply. And since consumer spending is about two-thirds of final sales, it'd be hard for the U.S. economy to boom without consumers.

Gee, somehow I don't think the US is going to have a dearth of consumers anytime soon. Could be just me.

Seriously, I know that consumer confidence can affect the economy, blah blah blah. But barring some horrible terrorist attack on American soil, I don't foresee the sky crumbling around our ears anytime soon. The housing market was due, I'd even argue overdue, for a correction, and here it is. No big whoop (except for those poor souls who overpaid for their houses and now may suffer loss as they try to sell in a falling market. That is not fun).

Can I have my honorary economics degree now? ...Hello?

Perfect for a Blogger...

...especially a dorky one like me! (I lifted this from Valerie, who, incidentally, had the same top "major" as I.) Perfect for a blogger that English and Journalism tied, eh?

You scored as English. You should be an English major! Your passion lies in writing and expressing yourself creatively, and you hate it when you are inhibited from doing so. Pursue that interest of yours! English 92% Journalism 92% Mathematics 75% Philosophy 75% Sociology 67% Linguistics 67% Engineering 58% Dance 50% Theater 50% Art 50% Psychology 50% Anthropology 42% Chemistry 25% Biology 17% What is your Perfect Major? created with QuizFarm.com

Eternal Life and the Supremacy of Jesus

It seems like a question you wouldn't need to ask: what is eternal life?

I think if you asked anyone on the street to define it, they'd say something like, "Eternal life is life that goes on forever; it never ends." And granted, that's the literal definition. But from a Biblical standpoint, is that it? Is there more to it?

We know that the children of God, those who follow Jesus Christ, are given eternal life as an inheritance:

Matthew 19:29
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.

Matthew 25:46
And these [the unrighteous/disobedient] will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.

It seems to me that the Jews were aware that eternal life could be inherited:

Mark 10:17-22
And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'" And he said to him, "Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth." And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, "You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

(I love that passage, by the way. It rips my heart out to think of that man walking away--from eternal life, really--but it shows us such a deeply exciting look into who Jesus is. He looked at him and loved him.)

When I read about eternal life in the New Testament, certainly the idea of "life that goes on forever" is a correct interpretation, but it's not a complete one. I'd say it's "abundant life that goes on forever and is connected intimately and wholly with relationship to the Messiah." This is the heart of the meaning of life in a New Testament context, as I read it.

John 10:9-10
I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

John 3:14-16, 36
As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up; so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life....He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him."

In fact, eternal life is actually explicitly defined, a couple of times, in this New Covenant!

Jesus said, "I know that His commandment is eternal life; therefore the things I speak, I speak just as the Father has told Me" (John 12:50). Peter said to Jesus, ""Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God." The very words of God ARE, and GIVE, eternal life. Interestingly, Jesus is called the logos, or Word, of God in John 1.

Jesus is the only way to this eternal life because He IS eternal life. He is the Source, the never-ending Spring of living water! It is through relationship with HIM that eternal life exists for us!

Heb 5:8-10
Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

That was actually the passage that made me think of John 17, and in turn, this topic, this morning.

Think of how many people have searched for eternal life throughout human history. Many, maybe most, myths and ancient legends have to do with the human desire to attain eternal life and to be like God or the gods. The answer to all those quests and desires is so simple. It's not found through spelunking through ancient caves, looking for documents or chalices. It's not found through killing a twelve-headed monster or saving a virgin from a gruesome death.

It's found by simply trusting in, following and obeying the Lord Jesus Christ, the originator and giver of life.

What is eternal life?

John 17:3
This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.

For me that one passage could sum up every other scripture quoted here. Eternal life is, quite simply, knowing God and knowing Jesus. The opportunity to know them (in a way man has never known God before) is the opportunity to experience, and to continue to experience, abundant, joyful life, outside of the boundaries of time and space: for eternity.

Jesus is central to this eternal life because it COMES from Him! 'Jesus' and 'eternal life' cannot be separated as concepts or realities. Eternity outside of the presence of Christ isn't life; it's eternal death. We're eternal creatures, one way or the other. But that's another post.

John 4:13-14
Jesus answered and said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life."

The human body can go much longer without food than without water. Jesus is necessary for spiritual life in the same way that water is necessary for physical life to continue.

John 5:39-40
You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.

The Bible only gives life insofar as it presents the Words of God. It is these Words that give life IF the hearer's heart is penetrated by them, and the eyes opened by the Spirit (John 6:63).

John 6:27, 39-40
Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal....And this is the will of God, that I should not lose even one of all those he has given me, but that I should raise them to eternal life at the last day. For it is my Father's will that all who see his Son and believe in him should have eternal life--that I should raise them at the last day.

Notice that it is Jesus, the giver of eternal life, who raises His people on the last day--raising them to eternal life.

And the bottom line for us is this: we are striving for a prize, and that is abundant life with Jesus that goes on forever. We must not grow weary in pursuing it.

Romans 2:6-8
He will render to each one according to his works: to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life; but for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury.

Romans 6:21-23
Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death. But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Well into the Second Trimester!

Well folks, I'm almost 16 weeks.

(resounding applause)

We went to the doctor earlier this week and had another ultrasound; I thought you might like to thrill to the sight of Baby's Frith's spine, skull, arm, and hand.

Check it out!

BACK VIEW--See the spine? Little tiny bones!


SCRATCHING HEAD (A little more difficult to see. This is a front view.)


The morning sickness hasn't completely gone; evenings are the worst, usually, and dinner is still iffy. I couldn't eat the spaghetti I made last night, for instance. But such occurrences are, at least, not daily anymore.

California Trip and Update, with Pictures

Hello all!

I am currently in sunny California (okay, overcast California, but with the heat wave they've had lately, I'll take it). I'm on a much-desired vacation while Ryan works a little bit this week.

In baby-related news, I am happy to report that I have FINALLY emerged from an 8-week bout of almost constant nausea. When you're in the thick of it, it feels like you'll never feel really well again!

We were supposed to leave Atlanta for Los Angeles on Friday evening. Our flight was delayed no less than 153 times before they finally cancelled it. That's right: yours truly, 14 weeks pregnant, spent the night in the ATL airport. I can hardly complain about it even though I got a total of 15 minutes of sleep: that night marked the first 24-hour period that I didn't feel nauseated. I cannot stress enough what a miracle that seemed to me. The ATL airport, I assure you, is not the place you want to be constantly heaving.

The baby is doing well. I am fairly certain that I felt some tiny kicks yesterday in church (we were so blessed to be reunited with our Blessed Hope Chapel family! How dear to our hearts they will always be!), last night, and this morning. The baby seemed to particularly like Pastor Joe's preaching.

I'll leave you with a few shots from Leo Carrillo State Beach yesterday. We spent the evening with Ryan's brother and his fiancee, Lisa, with whom I am pictured. I included a gratuitous belly shot to quell the cries of the masses.

Ryan captured this shot of the fantastic Leo Carrillo waves:


Kristen "I think my face is expanding" Frith and Lisa:


Burgeoning Belly Shot:

A Meme from Kim (that almost rhymes...)

Don't worry; this isn't going to be a blog where I only post memes. But how can I refuse Kim's tag? She's a dear friend I'm so glad to have back in the blogosphere. Blogworld. Blogdom. Whatever.

5 Things in my Refrigerator:

Um, I have been a sick pregnant woman for a few months now. Do you want to know the answer to this question?

1. Noodles (which I heat up and eat with ketchup)
2. Fruit, usually strawberries, watermelon and peaches
3. 1 and 2% organic milk (MMMM!)
4. Plain organic yogurt for smoothies
5. Rotting lettuce, since I can't bring myself to eat a salad right now.

5 Things in my Closet:

Oooh! I can make this list even shorter if I amend it to "5 Things in My Closet that Actually Fit."

1. Maternity pants that my husband rather unaffectionately termed "The Parachute Pants."
2. More Parachute Pants.
3. Balloony maternity shirts. YES, THEY ARE TOO BIG. NO, I DON'T CARE. They're COMFY. NO, I AM NOT HORMONAL, WHY DO YOU ASK?!
4. Tennis shoes, the only things that don't hurt my feet right now. YES, I WEAR THEM TO WORK EVERY DAY. SEE ABOVE.
5. Um...old jeans?

5 Things in my Purse:

1. The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality by Mary Pride. My plan is to let her re-inspire me. I have fond memories of reading this book right after I got married.
2. Zone bar. Only a little melty.
3. Raisinets and a couple of small dark chocolate squares (shhh!).
4. Phenergan (nausea medicine).
5. Wallet.

5 Things in my Car:

1. A sun shield (indispensible at this time of year in Georgia!)
2. Various bits of trash. I am such a car slob.
3. Three or four car chargers. I have NO IDEA what phone or device they belong to.
4. Sermon tape.
5. Jumper cables.

I don't tag peeps, but let me know if you complete this meme on your blog--I'd love to read it!

Can you stand another baby update?

Here are the latest pictures of the wee Baby Frith. :) Please do not sue me in a court of law if your drool ruins your keyboard! I can't help how adorable the baby is!

Okay, so at this stage the head looks like a triangle. True. But it's a CUTE triangle.

His/her knees were up and feet were crossed; arms were moving; heart rate was 171.

A Primer

Lately I've been feeling nauseated, tired, listless, and dizzy--all the time.

I know what's going on.

I believe there is a point to this, and I write that even as I count the minutes until 8PM so I can go to sleep (my only refuge from the sickness).

Look at the facts: I am wholly separated from what was my normal life. Every moment of the day is, in one way or another, consumed with pregnancy. I am sick, I am emotional, I am unable to forget my state. I am inconvenienced and uncomfortable most of the time.

I am not complaining, just stating the facts about where I am right now.

In fact, I think this experience is expressly meant to prepare me for motherhood. I realize that motherhood is not all inconvenience and discomfort (thank God!), but I also realize that where I was once concerned with myself and my husband, I will now be responsible for much more than my own well-being, amusement, and edification. Existence will be necessarily much less about what I want and more about what another needs. That's not quite the case with a household that contains only two adults. We think of and accomodate one another, to be sure, but neither of us requires constant attention!

I realized this morning, though, that I will always be a child. I don't want to lose that in all the mental hubbub about 'responsibility' that can easily fester into worry and anxiety--two plagues that will rob me of the joy and wonder that should come with motherhood.

I see, too, an opportunity for a second childhood, of sorts. I thought of it this morning as I walked among the dewy plants, breathing in the still cool air and remembering how exciting it was to take a simple walk as a child. Each one was a wonderful adventure...and I can feel that again as I walk with a little one of my own.

I'm in a nine-month boarding school that trains new mothers, and the first classes are really, really tough.