Monday, October 17, 2005

What Kristen Needs

I apologize to those of you who hate memes. I do hope that you realize I only meme the REALLY funny things, though. Right? ...Right?

Anyway, Kirstin's was funny, and Rachel had me literally in tears with laughter. And SHE got it from Thicket Dweller. So blame them.

I'll let Rachel explain the meme:

"Here's the drill: You google '[your name] needs', except of course that you replace [your name] with, well, your name. Then you look at the search results, and you laugh. (You might want to turn on the 'Family filter' or whatever it is that Google calls that. Because there are apparently some people out there who think you need stuff that, uh, you don't need. Or at least, you probably don't want to read about needing it on the Internet.)"

Here are my top ten. You should do this with your name--it's hilarious.

1. First off, Kristen needs to die.
Isn't that a little harsh?

2. Kristen needs 24-hour-a-day aid.
It's true. Between my clumsiness and propensity to lose things, I am a basket case...

3. Kristen needs to wash her socks because she will need them on Sunday morning when she runs the Columbus marathon with her father.
Um, yeah. I have plenty of clean socks, thanks.

4. Kristen needs to settle down. Yes, she was right about needing a plan, but screaming won't help.
I am trying to manage my anger more constructively. Give me time.

5. Kristen needs to go home with whatever she needs to make up for the past six years of obviously horrible "care".
That's RIGHT. I need to go home with several pounds of dark chocolate, new books, a deluxe Yahtzee game, and new shoes. And see that you take better care of me in the future!

6. Kristen needs to harvest phage today, where she did not have time to do so the day before.
Well, I was really busy.

7. Kristen needs friends right now and 'cease and desist' orders run contrary to our community of Kristen Friends.
I like that...'our community of Kristen Friends.' Are you in the community of Kristen Friends? Doesn't that sound culty?

8. "Kristen needs a little break. I'm gonna get her some wine and she'll be able to talk in a bit."
Obviously spoken by a Kristen Friend.

9. I still think Kristen needs to deal with her propensity to meddle in other people’s lives.
Not a Kristen Friend.

And this one is for Rachel, because apparently all my memes have some connection to her:
10. Rachel comes up tops in her grey crops, Kristen needs to re-think the top (maybe she should take a look at our safari chic examples?).
I don't know what they are talking about...I am the epitome of safari chic. They can't be talking about me.