Thursday, January 20, 2005

My Fruitful Barrenness

This article below speaks exactly what my heart cries about infertility. It is so very hard...I grieve often and deeply. But the Lord may have other plans for me, and no matter what happens in my life, I want to glorify HIM and desire HIM above everything in this world, even the good things He can give me.

My Fruitful Barrenness

Kelly S. says many profound things in this short article, not the least of which is her meditation on longing:

"I would encourage other ladies experiencing infertility to use your grief and barrenness as a gateway to deeper service unto God and others. Sometimes we live a lifetime with unfulfilled desires. This burden can either make us bitter or better."

I praise God for this encouragement. Truly, He is what we need and fulfills every desire through His presence and hesed (lovingkindness or covenant loyalty).

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


I totally agree. I like the phrase "fruitful barrenness" as it is fruitful (or can be at least) but not in the way we first hoped or expected.

I still grieve but not as often and not as deeply. Pursuing adoption hasn't "cured" my infertility or made the hurt go away, but it has given me something to hope for and look towards. It is its own blessing and fruit.

My problem now is not fretting the delays and the details and allowing the disappointments to combine with the infertility-grief. When I start down that road, I have to make myself stop (take those thoughts captive) and choose to think about it as its own journey, challenge, etc and not a compounded-infertility burden.

And of course the desire to conceive and give birth to a child has not diminished, I've just had to suspend it for a time... a time that may not ever end. Only God knows.