Got some doozies for you guys this time. In mock honor of the Oscars, let's have the Weird Ways to Get to Kristen's Blog Awards! Winners are indicated in bold and have been determined most injudiciously by a panel of one.
*trumpets and fanfare*
First, in the "What Does That Have to Do with Anything?" category:
1. girl hug boy
2. song napoleon dynamite walking
3. flava flav's daughter
4. michael and debi pearl grinding grains (at last, someone not seeking controversy!)
5. Psalms to get a job (Hint: chanting Psalms will not land you a gig.)
6. Obey hats
In the "Offensive to Kristen Personally" (AKA, the "You'll Be Hearing from My Lawyer") category:
1. KRISTEN PUNK
2. appear to be serving (Excuse me?!)
3. walkingcircumspectly cult (Now THAT's going too far. What? That red Kool-Aid? That's simply for the refreshment of guests! Have some!)
4. Kristen was arrested for (People, that's called SLANDER. Or LIBEL. Hmpf. Well, I get them confused, but my LAWYER WON'T!)
5. Kristin mock Georgia (If you're going to accuse me of rebellion against the Motherland, at least spell my name correctly.)
In the "This Just Might Have Something to Do with Something I've Written" category:
1. it's time to talk the walk of shame
2. women walking in the newness of life (Eh, Rach?)
3. help me to love my husband (YAY! Someone sane!)
And in the "Heck Yeah!" category:
1. Kristen first
2. Kristen's Cookie Company
3. Kristen pinnacle reality (Confusing, but sounds complimentary. I'll take what I can get.)
4. relief of Kristen (We've discussed this before, but to reiterate, my relief can be achieved through the necessary quantities of dark chocolate, new books, deluxe Yahtzee games, and new shoes. Thankyou.)
Congratulations to the winners. It was a tough decision for the judge, but in every contest there must be winners and losers. Good luck to next month's competitors, and I hope you can all join me again for another glamorous evening of weird links and inane references!
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