Flux

First of all, I want to thank everyone who has been praying. My life has been in such turmoil, such flux, that I could hardly breathe. I've barely eaten.

I hardly know how to write this.

We are moving back to Georgia.

The Lord must have been preparing my heart to move--that's all I can think. Our move is not the result of any nagging or wheedling on my part. There are many details I am not going to post on a public blog, but suffice it to say that I am amazed. We still don't know all the details, but the Lord made it abundantly clear to us that our time here is up: the door is closing.

Kristy wrote to me:

Isaiah 30:21
And whenever you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear this command behind you: 'This is the way. Walk in it.'

Indeed! Praise God. Ryan and I have been through several moves and a layoff or two in the time we've been together. It makes us feel as though we've been married ten years instead of almost five, quite often.

We plan to be in Georgia in about a month. It will be interesting to see what this next chapter holds, this new season. I have been thinking about posting on how our lives in Christ truly consist of seasons rather than 'years' proper, which is fitting, interestingly, when you think about Biblical feasts and 'appointed times.' God has always had seasons for things when it comes to His people, with remembrance of all He has done forever at the forefront of each season.

God appoints the seasons of our lives, and we are just along for the ride. Lord, help me do Your will in this season.

Ecclesiates 3:1-11

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Ummmm...help?

I just realized I am being an idiot by not asking you to pray for me and Ryan.

We're facing some big decisions right now, and I can tell that we're both tempted to feel overwhelmed. Please pray for us if you feel led to.

Home, redux

And now for something completely different...

Miss O'Hara decries a new Supreme Court Ruling that, like her, I find unconscionable (though I am not surprised):

"The Supreme Court ruled yesterday that local governments may force property owners to sell out and make way for private economic development when officials decide it would benefit the public, even if the property is not blighted and the new project's success is not guaranteed" (Washington Post).

Translation: the government can take your land and your home. Miss O'Hara provides an apt quote from Hold the Mayo:

"You and I no longer own homes. We occupy them. We pay the bank every month for the privilege of living there as long as the government wants to let us."

While I am irritated at this news, and while I consider it unjust and a breach of citizens' constitutional rights--and while I do think the courts have tyrannical power in the United States RIGHT NOW--I take comfort that this is no new problem, and that our brothers and sisters faced seizure of property in the first centuries after the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I consider this a "writing is on the wall" situation as I look to the future. Be encouraged as the days grow darker, and know that we are facing nothing, really, that our family in the Lord has not always faced. May the Lord help our faces to be set as flint.

Hebrews 10:32-35
But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.

It's neat how this goes with my post below about my own homesickness. There truly is no home for us but Heaven. Maranatha!

Home

I always have considered myself an extremely adaptable person, someone who can bloom wherever I am planted, almost without another thought.

I never knew what it was to be really homesick. Until now.

I grew up in Georgia and lived there all my life, with the exception of a brief stint in North Carolina and two years in South Carolina. I've traveled to the Northeast US, Canada, Europe and the Mediterranean. I truly thought that I could live just about anywhere (well, perhaps nowhere COLD!), hang my hat, and be done with it.

Then I moved to California.

At first I thought it was just culture shock: the LA area is very different in some subtle ways from the South. Instead of a big Baptist church on every corner, there are "spas" that offer everything from hair extensions, to some kind of massage with stones, to lasering 'unsightly' wrinkles, to Botox--they're doctors' offices and salons combined, all dedicated to making you look like a model. Or Joan Rivers.

But it's more than culture shock. I have been here a year, and I understand for the first time why this feeling is called homeSICKNESS. My throat closes when I hear a Southern accent on the phone at work; when I think of red, ripe summer tomatoes fresh from the garden; when I remember frost; when I hear my father speak on the phone, so far away. This sickness stole over my heart so gradually, and I don't know how to shake it.

I look at the majestic Santa Monica Mountains and wonder at myself. How can I be so hardened to their beauty? Why doesn't this feel like home?

The truth has begun whispering itself to me, finally. It's not home, and it never will be. This place, beautiful as it is, will never take the place of the South. I had lived in three different states, but their misty hills, tall pines and soft air were woven seamlessly together: they are the same place. I was mistaken to ever think them separate.

The Smartest Guys, the Hardest Fall

NB: This was my entry for Marla's Intellectuelle contest. Congratulations to the winners! Since I've taken my posting frequency down a notch, I am kind of glad not to have more writing responsibilities--but I will be really interested to check out the new Intellectuelle site when it launches.

With that said, this post is my review of a documentary about Enron that I saw last month.
__________________________________________________

Prov 16:18-19
Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall.
It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor
than to divide the spoil with the proud.

1 Cor 1:19-21
For it is written,
"I WILL DESTROY THE WISDOM OF THE WISE,
AND THE CLEVERNESS OF THE CLEVER I WILL SET ASIDE."
Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe.

I don't watch movies often, but when a good documentary comes out, the nerd in me rises like an insatiable Minotaur that must be fed. I heard about Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room and felt a rumbling inside that I hadn't experienced since seeing a trailer for Winged Migration a few years ago.

I used to write and edit for a company that produced real-time online transcripts of financial quarterly earnings calls. Every publicly traded company makes (and usually broadcasts) them to inform analysts and shareholders about the company's financial status and projections for the future.

Every call we ever covered followed an established pattern: the CEO gave the bright opening pep talk and closing comfort like shots of novocaine, and the CFO, sandwiched in between, ran through the numbers. I learned terms like "mark to market," but never knew what they meant. If you're like me and were not trained in accounting, let me break it down for you: Enron was booking future profits as though they'd already been realized. Back home we call that "counting your chickens before they hatch."

Although I'm no longer in that line of work, my experience there opened my eyes to a world I'd never had access to or been at all interested in. When I saw the Enron documentary playing at a local theater, I wanted to get a glimpse into the story behind the sinking of this modern Titanic.

What I saw was the arresting, personal account of the oldest story and oldest themes that exist: wanting to be like God (the Most High, the Omnipotent); pride, arrogance, and ultimately, hubris. Because of the myopic, unadulterated greed of the upper echelon of Enron (as well as its lawyers and bankers), billions of dollars were wasted, and billions more in pension funds and salaries were gambled away.

Isaiah 14:13
But you said in your heart,
'I will ascend to heaven;
I will raise my throne above the stars of God,
And I will sit on the mount of assembly
In the recesses of the north.
I will ascend above the heights of the clouds;
I will make myself like the Most High.'

In Enron's heyday nearly everyone was fooled by its appearance of integrity and its Teflon balance sheet. The Chairman and CEO had aspirations of being not just the best natural gas company in the world, but the most powerful company, period.

Reflecting on the causes of Enron's demise, I couldn't help but think of Satan and his angels, who wanted more than the area of responsibility and stewardship they'd been granted.

Jude 6
And angels who did not keep their own domain, but abandoned their proper abode, He has kept in eternal bonds under darkness for the judgment of the great day...

In the same way, the overseers of Enron, together with many of the country's foremost banks and politicians, were complicit either in being reckless with billions of dollars, or in watching on in approval like a grinning Saul.

There was one man who was willing to stand against the tidal wave of adulation: John Olson of Sanders Morris Harris, who had followed Enron from its inception.

"[W]hen Enron said, 'Jump,' most analysts asked, "How high?'

Most analysts, that is, but not John Olson. The senior vice president and director of research at Houston-based securities firm Sanders Morris Harris was always skeptical of Enron's excesses. At the risk of being the laughingstock of Texas society, Olson refused to join the herd in touting a company whose business grew ever more opaque and incomprehensible even as its share price soared. And while almost every other analyst had 'buy' recommendations on Enron stock, Olson steadily maintained that the company was 'not very forthcoming' about how it made money and that 'no analyst worth his salt can seriously analyze Enron.'" (link)

The spiritual lesson of Enron is as painfully obvious as those of the sinking of the Titanic: a shipbuilder boasted that "not even God could sink this ship." The Titanic was foolishly piloted "at a dangerously high speed of 20.5 knots in the dark of midnight through a minefield of icebergs," ignoring multiple warnings to change course. The ship became a byword, an archetype of ultimate hubris and gross human failure to listen and be warned.

Psalm 51:17
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

The documentary was so named because the Chairman and CEO, Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling, had King's Quarters at the top of two staircases ascending from Enron's vast trading room. They were called "The Smartest Guys in the Room."

NB: Unfortunately I can't recommend that anyone see this documentary--there's a surprise scene with strippers when the film discusses Lou Pi's fetish for them. It's a long and graphic scene. I guess that's what I get for taking a chance on an unrated documentary!

Friday's Feast

Two posts in one day! Ooooo! This is from Friday's Feast.

Appetizer--What's one word or phrase that you use a lot?

I seem to use a lot of Valley Girl phrases and generally incorporate a lot of white-girl dorkiness. "Whassup?" "Totally!" "I KNOW!" Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing. But relatable and not snotty.

Soup--Name something you always seem to put off until the last minute.

Um, housework. Not laundry, but the get-down-on-your-knees-and-scrub-the-tub stuff.

Salad--What was the last great bumper sticker you saw?

My favorite is "Imagine Whirled Peas." Cracks me up every time. I mean, really. Imagine WHIRLED PEAS!

Main Course--If you could be invisible for one day, how would you spend your time?

I would go to the White House and listen in on top secret conversations. Or I'd crash a Hollywood party and make all the celebrities spill their drinks on themselves!

Dessert--Describe your hair.

Brown, curly, getting longer!

In the News

The tagline of this blog purports to discuss current events, so I should probably do that once in a while! One of the reasons I started blogging was to have some way to achieve catharsis; no one in my life really cares what's going on in the world, other than the little bits I tell them. It's enough for them to know 'oh, there was an earthquake today' or 'a woman was abducted right before her wedding!'--but the details, implications, and broader societal ramifications do not fascinate them like they do me.

SO, you guys are going to get the full benefit (chortle) of my ramblings on several things I've been reading and hearing about lately.

Terri:
I COULD. NOT. BELIEVE. IT. when I saw a headline about Terri's autopsy the other day. Stories like this were everywhere:

"An autopsy on Terri Schiavo backed her husband's contention that she was in a persistent vegetative state, finding that she had massive and irreversible brain damage and was blind, the medical examiner's office said Wednesday."

YES. We know she had massive brain damage...that's not the point. Never was. It didn't matter one whit if she never improved. She was a live human being who smiled at her mother and whose parents wanted to take care of their baby. Blind? Eh, not in the videos I saw, and not according to the testimony of witnesses I'd trust over doctors examining her after she'd been starved and dehydrated to death. Take this trash somewhere else, because I ain't buyin'.

What do they call that kind of argument in logic? A straw man?

Let's just say I've lived long enough on this earth to know Satan's fingerprints when I see them. Holly has similar thoughts on this topic.

MJ Trial:
Look, I am just a Southern gal, not a legal expert. But let me get this straight. Strange, freakish man/woman, who lives at a Disneylike ranch he named after a place where people never grow up, is found with sexual pictures and videos of children in his room, admits to sleeping with little boys and finds nothing wrong with that, and has already paid off at least one boy who accused him of molestation. Witnesses have seen him give alcohol to boys and shower with them!

But, clearly, they're all liars and this is an innocent man. Clearly.

Shades of OJ. And don't even get me started about THAT one.

Runaway Bride:
Proof that there is no shame left in the world. She's "selling her life story" now. I tried to run away when I was eight or nine years old...how much do you think I could get for that?

I'll probably think of more later...

How Should We View Teachers?

I've been thinking about this, mostly because of The Great Pearl Debate that seems to rage endlessly on the Internet. How should we regard teachers--both those with a public ministry and those whom we know personally?

I believe that often people try to offer answers to that question that are too simple. It is always the obligation and goal of a Christian to be a Berean: to compare what is being taught to what is found in Scripture.

Acts 17:10-12
As soon as it was night, the brothers sent Paul and Silas away to Berea. On arriving there, they went to the Jewish synagogue. Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. Many of the Jews believed, as did also a number of prominent Greek women and many Greek men.

Thus, when I am presented with a teaching, my mind immediately goes into "scan and analyze" mode, not "open and receive" mode. Regardless of the source of the information, even if the message comes from a trusted and intimate brother or sister in the Lord, their words must be examined by the Word. Are they able to give contextual, rational Scripture references for what they're saying? Does their message line up with the whole counsel of God (what the rest of the Bible has to say on their subject)? Are there any red flags in my heart that the Holy Spirit is waving?

Granted, we cannot trust our feelings; anything we seem to discern from the Spirit must also be run by Scripture.

Let me give an example, using the Pearls' teachings, since they have figured in recent discussions. If you are a reader of this blog you already know that there are many things that the Pearls and I agree on. I've written several (ongoing) reviews of Debi Pearl's latest book and have discussed their ministry in a positive light here several times.

When I read their works, however, I don't blindly embrace everything they write. The Bible instructs the Christian to discern between what is of God and what isn't:

Hebrews 5:13-14
For everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.

Now, in the example below, please understand that I am not presenting this as something I regard as an evil teaching. Rather, it's a teaching I disagree with but which certainly would not divide me from a brother or sister in the Lord. That, too, is part of discernment: knowing what is good, what is evil, and what just might be neutral (something that is hard for a passionate person to countenance, I know!).

The Pearls believe that the KJV is God's Word in English, and that all other versions are per-versions (chortle chortle). Michael Pearl writes in an article titled New Age Bible Versions:

"Twenty-eight years ago I launched into a study of manuscript evidences. As a result, I came to believe that the King James Bible is the words of God, and nothing but the words of God, to English speaking people.

Do you believe that the book you call a Bible is the word of God? If it is not a King James Bible, then know that the translators and publishers of your “version” do not believe that your bible is the Bible, the Word of God."

Do I agree with this? No. That's another post, but no.

Can I read other writings of theirs, sorting out what I do and don't agree with, and keeping the wisdom while discarding what is not useful to me?

Yes. And that's what I am suggesting we do with all teachers we encounter. We must be committed to (Biblical) critical thinking just as we are committed to learning and embracing truth. No one person is going to get it all right, and we can't denounce an otherwise totally solid brother or sister because we disagree on a minor issue. Likewise, we must not put a "God-stamp" of approval on a teacher who is propogating heresies. We must be in the Word enough, and on our knees enough, to know the difference as the Holy Spirit makes it clear (which He will).

I think another issue comes into play here as well, though I think some will disagree with me. I believe that teachers who have proven themselves solid and whom we have come to trust individually as we've heard their teachings and seen their lives are worthy of our respect. I think this point is often lost in our quickness to denigrate what we don't like or to confuse the person with a teaching that isn't heresy but is not preferred by us.

1 Tim 5:1-2
Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; the elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.

(Note: Again, this does not mean his teaching is never questioned. It means he is honored and respected.)

1 Tim 5:19
Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses.

1 Pet 5:5
You who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Teachers, says James, will be judged more strictly (3:1). Their words need to be examined, taken seriously, honored but not deified. Worshipping a man (as some people really do, I think!) is wrong, but so is demonizing a brother and elder. I think we can examine, approve and reject teachings without resorting to either.

Review: Veil of Deception DVD

Mind & Media and Mission:America provided this DVD for me to review; I have not been compensated in any way. You can see other reviews of this DVD here, and Molly's review is here; she has an interesting take on the DVD as the wife of a youth pastor.

Mission:America produced this documentary, which I'd file under the "stuff Christians need to be aware of" category. The film consists mostly of interviews of Christians who are actively opposing both gay marriage legislation and the presentation to schoolchildren of gay marriage as normal and healthy. From their website:

"If same sex marriage becomes the law of the land, every American child will be taught that homosexuality is equal to traditional marriage.

In the 2004 elections, voters in 13 states affirmed traditional marriage as a defense against activism to legalize same sex marriage. At the same time, in May 2004, the state of Massachusetts began 'marrying' same sex couples in defiance of long-standing law.

Which view of marriage will prevail in America?

Mission:America's new production, Veil of Deception, explores homosexual activism already exploding in schools and communities nationwide, putting thousands of children at risk as experimentation is blatantly encouraged. Some courageous parents, community leaders and teachers are speaking out.

Would legalization of same sex marriage silence these voices? If so, what happens to the next generation?

This exciting, fast-paced video is a great educational tool. It features local and national 'heroes' who are trying to protect our children, and how we can all learn from them."

Molly pointed out that as an expose, the film falls a little flat. The case against gay marriage can be made in a more powerful and comprehensive way, to be sure. (Fight the Good Fight's expose on the Satanic origins of Rock N Roll does a much better job in that respect, I think, on the issue of homosexuality.) I did find the video engaging, though, and I think it has worth, particularly since the issue is a pressing one in today's political climate. I'd recommend it for Christians who need a bit of a wake-up call to realize what's truly happening in public schools and in society. I don't know about you, but I know quite a few Christians with their heads stuck in the sand; I appreciate Mission:America's efforts to help Christians actively oppose evil in our day.

Eph 6:12-13
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

All About Me and Books

I've been tagged by the highly intellectual, analytical, witty Bonnie of Off the Top! I shan't disappoint her.

Total books owned, ever:

That is a crazy question to ask a bookworm. Uh, a LOT. I've pared down my essentials, though, because when you move from SC to CA--and from a house into a small apartment with a roommate--something's gotta go. So I kept what I can't part with: Bibles, some Christian books, homeschooling/education books, Jane Austen, nutrition/juicing books, cooking and fitness books and magazines. Oh, and pregnancy "hope chest" books. ;)

Last book I bought:

God's Appointed Times and God's Appointed Customs from a Messianic bookstore. I love learning about all the ways Jesus is pictured in Jewish festivals and customs. Before that, I think it was The Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto.

Last book I read:

Mansfield Park by Jane Austen. I had jury duty last Friday, and spent a wonderful, relaxing day (made better by NOT being called to serve on a jury) reading MP. I consider the novel one of Austen's most complex works on several levels. Has anyone read it?

Five books that mean a lot to me:

1. My Bible
2. The Way Home by Mary Pride (I completely agree with what Amy said about this book)
3. Pride and Prejudice (Hey, it's been there for me in sickness and in health)
4. Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl (see sidebar for reviews)
5. The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace

What about you?

Created to Be His Help Meet: My Take on the Pearls

I was reading a post at Spunky's about an article by Michael and Debi Pearl called Jumping Ship. You can read a great conversation between Spunky and Anne in the comments of Spunk's post. (In fact, please do, or I don't know how much sense this post will make to you.) That conversation made me want to take the CTBHHM day to clarify something about how I see the Pearls' ministry.

To me, reading Debi's book is like sitting down for coffee with a woman who is older and wiser than I am--a woman who has perhaps counseled hundreds of women; who has raised a large family; and who, from everything I can tell, loves the Lord. She seems like a passionate person who's going to do her best to communicate truth to me and help me learn so that I don't make mistakes she's seen many women make.

But I don't agree with everything she says. Sure, the Pearls' tone and diction can make it seem like they think they have all the answers. Honestly, that doesn't bother me. "Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind" (Rom 14:5). I think they believe their words are based on Scripture, and it's okay for them to be convinced about it. When I read their material, I understand they are passionate and may seem hyperbolic at times. My question is, what are they saying? What's between the lines?

For example, the Jumping Ship article talks about parents "cloning" their culture and "cloning" themselves in their children. Do the Pearls really think we clone ourselves, and our children are exactly like us? I don't think so. But such idiomatic/hyperbolic speech is common to Southerners (if they aren't Southern, honey, they seem like it. I've never heard their voices), and perhaps there's a cultural component to how others see their rhetoric.

As I wrote to Anne (who made some GREAT points; this post is not in opposition to her at all):

"Generally I do with their writing what I did with CTBHHM: chew the (wonderful and plentiful) meat, and spit out the bones. And there ARE bones. I don't begin to agree with every jot and tittle they put to paper, but many times I think they're saying something that too few people are willing to say."

I feel perfectly free to sit at that table with Debi, listen intently to what she has to say (not because she's someone greater than anyone else, but because I've found worth in her words), and evaluate it all for myself. Sure, I see areas where I differ with her. In my CTBHHM reviews, I've purposefully chosen to eschew places in the text I could criticize in favor of focusing on the many things I found profound or striking in it. It's not an academic review; it's an attempt to squeeze every useful piece of advice from this woman that I can.

That doesn't mean there aren't very legitimate things we could debate in this book--some reviewers have mentioned them. I just chose to tell you what I am finding useful.

The bottom line is that just like in 'real life' relationships, we can learn from one another without agreeing on everything one hundred percent. I think that it's not too hard to read between the lines of the Pearls' material to grasp the heart of what they're saying. Of course, some people, like Anne, will thoughtfully and honestly disagree with the Pearls, or with me. That's okay, and as I wrote above, Anne makes legitimate and compelling points in her rebuttals. I do think, though, this charge of arrogance on the part of the Pearls may be more of a misunderstanding and can muddy the waters when the topic of their teachings comes up.

NB: Some dismiss the Pearls because they disagree with their books on parenting. This post isn't really about that--but I will refer anyone with parenting interests to Molly's wonderful, wonderful series on that topic.

Saying ANYTHING remotely positive about the Pearls is verboten to some people, and I usually can expect some nasty comments. If you leave one, just know it will be deleted as soon as I see it. I don't tolerate harrassment (or witch hunts). Some people literally scour the Internet seeking out those who would dare to speak on this subject in the way I, Molly, Sal, Jenna and the others do, in order to bully us (usually anonymously) into silence. Guess what: that won't work. I will continue to speak the truth before God as I see it, seeking to back up my words with Scripture. And I will defend and encourage those whom you persecute.

Putting First Things First

Holly at Threefold Cord (an excellent blog, by the way) shares her thoughts about Christians and the internet. Check out her probing, questioning post and others' insightful comments.

Now, I know this is one of those topics that seems to be constantly cycled anywhere where Christians congregate on the internet (message boards, blogs)--and I think it should be. We should regularly evaluate how we spend our time, where we are in our relationship with the Lord, and whether anything is vying for time and attention that should be reserved for Him alone. The latter is an especially hard one, in my opinion, because things done "for Him" can be distractions, or even idols, in disguise. Or so I have found it.

I have seen several brothers and sisters struggle with the time they spend on blogs or message boards. Is it worth it? Is God in it?

As I told Holly at her blog, I don't think this is one of those yes/no, either/or questions; the internet is not demonic or angelic. It's a medium. But in our own lives, we must each--on an ongoing basis--keep ourselves in check, putting first things first. Holly writes,

"There are times I amazed at the capacity and potential for good to be accomplished by the community of Christians who are involved in some avenue (website, blogging, ministries, give and take forums, etc.)on the internet. Never in the history of man has the possibility for the immediate spread of the gospel been so achievable, so easy. Never has there been such a community that transcends barriers. Never have the different groups and denominations been able to converse, to enter each other's worlds. Never before have we had THIS capacity for some to teach, for others to learn, to grow, to encourage, to fellowship.

On the other hand, I am left to wonder what God must think? Does He see our technology as a potential tool for great and mighty things, but one that we have made into something akin to the Tower of Babel?"

My friend Kim recently axed her blog, and now has what we're calling a What's New Non-Blog for those who love and want to keep up with her. For some (ex)bloggers, that's the solution: to unplug, or to refashion the communication into something less interactive and less apt to invite or stir controversy. I understand this. It has been a necessary change for me to realize that I don't HAVE to post every day! There are no rules like that with blogging. It's not an assignment, it's just sharing thoughts and building relationships. But there's one Relationship that matters more than all the others, that must not suffer.

I was telling Meg, who apologized for not writing regularly, that I have had to step back and realize that no one puts pressure on me regarding this blog but ME. It started out as fun, and as a way to share my thoughts, and it should stay that way.

I know this type of cathartic meta-post annoys some readers...but I see it as, perhaps, a necessary part of blogging. Most of us check, interact with, or post to blogs every day. A little rumination--and spiritual housekeeping--must be in order for all of us at regular intervals.

If You're Looking for Something to Read...

...in the blogosphere (what an awkward word that is!), here's where I'd tell you to go:

Miss O'Hara responds to what she's learning about the EC in The Church, Unequipped:

"Without the true, unadulterated Word, we have no strength, weak principles, and nothing to stand on. Therefore, not only are we defenseless against sin and 'problems' within our own body, and the attack from the world as well - the lost and helpless are defenseless and without defenders (that is supposed to be us).

Is it any wonder we can't win fights against abortion, euthanasia, promiscuity, postmodernism, and the sad horrors they bring with them? Is it any wonder we can't attract the unchurched to Christ (instead of us and our churches)? We are no different! We offer "answers" no different from Oprah or Hollywood, anymore. How is that going to attract anyone to Jesus?"

(Read the whole thing--it's really powerful. She's so articulate and witty!) She points to a post by Tim Challies on the marketing of The Purpose-Driven Life that I am glad I didn't miss. You can find it here.

In the last few days at Evangelical Update, participants have covered spanking, family planning and war...my head is spinning! I don't know if I am done talking about hell yet! ;-)

By the way, speaking of hell, my dear Ryan mentioned something I should have elucidated in my post on that subject. The Lake of Fire is actually separate from hell, though they both have to do with the punishment of the wicked. Rev 20 tells us that death and hell are thrown into the Lake of Fire, which is the place of eternal punishment for rebellious people and angels.

Rev 20:13-15
And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

So. Anyway. Back to my on-topic babbling.

I was pointed by someone to a great new blog: Gentle Heart Whispers. I like the focus on Scripture I am seeing there--and the obvious love for Jesus.

I am in awe of Slice of Laodicea. It's one of my favorite blogs. Ingrid's away right now but has appointed some guest bloggers. There's just a wealth of wonderful insight and information there.

Sallie's blog has a new look--it's beautiful, and her posts are refreshing and useful.

Feel free to link to anything YOU'VE been enjoying in the comments, or blog about it and let me know.

Choosing Home Housewarming Party!

You are welcome to join me over at Choosing Home's Housewarming Party today, hosted by our dear Jenna and Molly. I am looking forward to reading all the entries! (You can revisit my contribution here.)

In the June newsletter for Choosing Home, Jenna writes,

"Great thanks is owed (and given!!) to the wonderful ladies who have made our HouseWarming so special. As you can see, many great changes have been taking place as we settle into our new home. It is a real adventure, learning, sharing, and developing friendships among ladies who are also dedicated to choosing home. Without further ado, come this way--to our cozy little livingroom. There are many ladies that I would love for you to meet..."

Thanks and congratulations, Molly and Jenna! You are much loved!

Coming Out of Legalism

Legalism is one of those terms that is bandied about often, but is rarely used correctly. I have been accused more than once of legalism for simply obeying the Word of God, or for following my own convictions based on the Word of God. Obeying God, listening to His voice, and following your convictions based on His Word are not legalism.

Legalism is adding commands to the Bible and treating those commands as God-given. The Pharisees were experts at this, and for what it's worth, I believe that their intentions were probably good at the outset. Many of the rules that they made that were not a part of Torah were conceived as a "fence around the Torah"; the idea was, if you never break the command that is not in Torah, then you'll never come close to breaking the command that's actually in Torah.

From Judaism for Beginners:

" Chapter 1, Mishnah 1, from Pirkei Avos:

'Moses received the Torah at Sinai, and passed it on to Joshua, Joshua to the Elders, the Elders to the Prophets, the Prophets passed it on to the Men of the Great Assembly, who said three things: Be patient in the administration of justice; raise up many disciples; and make a fence around the Torah.'

I'd like to focus on 'make a fence around the Torah.' God gave us many instructions in the Torah. All of God's orders, or "mitzvahs," are designed to make our lives better. When we buy a new computer system, there is a handbook which includes instructions. It would be foolish of us to try to handle the computer system without regard to the accompanying manual ('Oh, I don't need that, I know what I'm doing'). Yet, so many of us try to live our lives by doing only what 'feels' good, and we disregard God's instructions, or make exceptions. Our wise sages often felt the need to add 'fences' around the mitzvahs in order to protect us from making mistakes, or misunderstanding, or dispensing with them altogether."

Sounds reasonable. We should stay as far from sin as possible--who could argue with a little help, a few more boundaries just to make sure we don't break the commandments?

The problem is this: I see several places in the Bible that, I believe, contradict this fence-building notion, however well-intentioned it may have been. I'll give a few of the examples I see and comment on legalism in my own life.

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees, who were interested in their own "holy" appearance before men rather than their standing with God. They made sure everyone saw their "piety," and they took advantage of those close to God's heart, such as the widows. The passage below speaks to all of these issues. It's interesting to me that Jesus was not as interested in the myriad "traditions of the fathers" as He was the heart of each person before God.

Matt 15:1-9
Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, 'Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.' He answered them, 'And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and, 'Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.' But you say, 'If anyone tells his father or his mother, What you would have gained from me is given to God, he need not honor his father.' So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said:

'This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
in vain do they worship me,
teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.'"

Note that He contrasts the traditions with God's commandments. They are not one and the same. God's commands are recorded in His Word and do not change. Dare we add to them?

Rev 22:18
I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.

He who testifies to these things says, 'Surely I am coming soon.' Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!

It is my opinion that this principle of neither adding to or detracting from God's Word applies to the whole of Scripture as well as Revelation.

God desires us to hear His Words and diligently follow them. His sheep hear His voice; obviously, His voice will always agree with the Bible, as it is God-breathed.

Deut 4:9-14
"Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children--how on the day that you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, the LORD said to me, 'Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so.' And you came near and stood at the foot of the mountain, while the mountain burned with fire to the heart of heaven, wrapped in darkness, cloud, and gloom. Then the LORD spoke to you out of the midst of the fire. You heard the sound of words, but saw no form; there was only a voice. And he declared to you his covenant, which he commanded you to perform, that is, the Ten Commandments, and he wrote them on two tablets of stone. And the LORD commanded me at that time to teach you statutes and rules, that you might do them in the land that you are going over to possess.

John 10:2-5
"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers."

There is a balance to understanding obedience and freedom. The Lord warns us against doing what is right in our own eyes; there is no license to go wherever our flesh leads. In fact, that sounds a lot like the broad way to destruction, and "many go that way." However, on the other hand, we do have freedom in Christ. Even as we abide in the shadow of His wings, there will be differences between us--matters of conscience and interpretation that are within the parameters of His Word. I believe that to distinguish between good and evil, we must be consistently (daily) meditating on the Lord and His Word, and be open to the working of His Spirit in us.

Rom 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Rom 14:10-19
Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written,

'As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,
and every tongue shall confess to God.'

So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Those of you who know me also know that I am not promoting licentiousness with this line of thinking (see my post on judging).

I called this post "Coming Out of Legalism" because in my own life, I've been bound by it at times. I think that most believers--true disciples who are intensely interested in finding out what pleases the Lord (Eph 5:8-9) and obeying Him (John 15:14)--run into this problem, probably many times. We must guard against making our own 'rules' for ourselves and others in the name of radical obedience.

Please hear me: I love obedience, because the Lord says this is how I am His friend and shows that I truly love Him. But I want to stay in step with the Lord, because the enemy is prowling and is clever. He knows that one of the best ways to trip up a disciple is legalism in the guise of radical obedience.

Here's a litmus test that has been helpful for me: can I simply obey my conscience in this area, or am I constantly pointing mental fingers at people regarding this disputable matter? Am I judging my brother over something that is not in the Scripture (insert topic here)? Paul used meat as an example; we could use dresses or music as examples. There is never anything wrong with taking a stand of conscience unless it is A) unprompted by the Holy Spirit and B) causes you to look down on your brethren spiritually.

Where the Worm Does Not Die

Recently some questions about hell have come to the fore, particularly at Evangelical Update in this post, where Chris wrote, "Maybe someone can blog on the topic of where in the Bible the issue of eternal damnation is mentioned."

I'll briefly examine here what I believe the Bible has to say about hell. Honestly, I think it's really clear; I think that people don't like the idea of hell, so they try to remake it into annihilation or into a fantasy where everyone goes to heaven. These fly in the face of God's justice, holiness and perfection.

Hell was not made for people, but for the rebellious angels who rejected the Lord and were cast out of heaven (they know they are going there at the appointed time):

Matt 25:41 (Jesus talking)
"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels."

2 Peter 2:4-10
For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment; if he did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a herald of righteousness, with seven others, when he brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly; if by turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah to ashes he condemned them to extinction, making them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly; and if he rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked (for as that righteous man lived among them day after day, he was tormenting his righteous soul over their lawless deeds that he saw and heard); then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment, and especially those who indulge in the lust of defiling passion and despise authority.

Matt 8:28-29
When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. 'What do you want with us, Son of God?' they shouted. 'Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?'

Hell is eternal:

Mark 9:42-48 (Jesus speaking)
"And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck. If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, where
" 'their worm does not die,
and the fire is not quenched.'"

Revelation 14:9-11
And another angel, a third, followed them, saying with a loud voice, "If anyone worships the beast and its image and receives a mark on his forehead or on his hand, he also will drink the wine of God's wrath, poured full strength into the cup of his anger, and he will be tormented with fire and sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever, and they have no rest, day or night, these worshipers of the beast and its image, and whoever receives the mark of its name."

It probably needs to be reiterated about the former passage that Jesus is NOT talking about literally cutting off your hand, foot, or gouging out your eye. While he is making an analogy here, I don't believe the analogy extends to hell, a place Jesus referred to often in his teachings.

I think of this one often:

Matt 10:28
And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

Jesus spoke to the Pharisees about where their practices and hearts were leading them. This passage flouts the teachings of those who want to present Jesus as a frail teacher who would never speak a harsh word to anyone. With many sinners, He was gentle, but He was angered at the hypocrisy of the teachers of the Law who were leading the people astray. The passage, and the one below it, also demonstrate that hell is the place the rebellious are sentenced to at the Judgment:

Matt 23:29-33
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you build the tombs of the prophets and decorate the monuments of the righteous, saying, 'If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.' Thus you witness against yourselves that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers. You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?"

Matt 25:31-46
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.' Then they also will answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?' Then he will answer them, saying, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.' And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

More passages that demonstrate the reality and nature of hell are below. In Luke 16 Jesus talks about Lazarus and the rich man:

"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'

He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.' Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.' He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.'

Again, hell has much to do with God's judgment--His place as the just Judge. His heart is with the oppressed and poor, and those who have been taken advantage of will be avenged by Him:

James 5:2-4
Your wealth is rotting away, and your fine clothes are moth-eaten rags. Your gold and silver have become worthless. The very wealth you were counting on will eat away your flesh in hell. This treasure you have accumulated will stand as evidence against you on the day of judgment. For listen! Hear the cries of the field workers whom you have cheated of their pay. The wages you held back cry out against you. The cries of the reapers have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty.

Greg wrote something I agree with in the comments at EU (below). I don't go around trying to evangelize by telling people they're heading for hell if they do not repent, unless the Spirit prompts me to do so, which is rare for me personally. I support preachers who teach about hell, though--they should. Jesus mentioned it quite often. I think that we should be honest about what hell is and why people go there. Jesus said it in a passage above: those who are consigned there are workers of lawlessness, who refused to repent and obey God.

Romans 1 lets us know that everyone is without excuse. I've realized after lots of conversation with many atheists that they are angry with God in some way--it's not so much that they totally can't conceive of the notion, though that's what they say at first. The idea of hell, or something hurtful that has happened to them or to a loved one has made them angry with God...and that's a far cry from really not believing He exists.

"I don't think anyone is going to "come to faith" by having their understanding of Hell clarified. It is not the removal of mental obstacles that brings us to faith and repentance. It is a terrifying encounter with God’s holiness, the devastating realization of my own sinfulness, and the awesome reality of God’s free gift in Jesus Christ.

Hell makes perfect sense in light of God's holiness. His holiness is not His majesty; it is that which completely separates us from Him in our (un)natural condition. Chris, you said, 'We're trying to understand how/why someone would be condemned there,' and that is precisely what I am getting at by saying we must understand His holiness before we will understand Hell."

On a Thirst for Authenticity, and Avoiding Dumb Rules

Last week I posted about the Emergent movement for the first time (1, 2, and 3). There's some lingering things out there, from the comments and from other pieces I've read, that I'd like to address.

Keith wrote,

"You're right: emergent outreaches DO tend to differentiate themselves from traditional churches even in their naming, because post-modern people encounter only modern approaches in them - and no connection is made. "Different" is not always "sinful." Maybe what we need to be doing is examining scriptural approaches that do reach post-modern people, and incorporate them into traditional churches.

Have you found anything about emergent approaches (hopefully on their web sites, not just on those who criticize them) that's worthy of commending? The apostle Paul once said he was delighted that Christ was preached, even if for the wrong motives. Is there something to that?" (emphasis mine)

Maybe I gave the impression in my other posts that I wholly condemn everyone who has associated themselves with this movement; that isn't the case (and I would never paint with so broad a brush).

Rev-Ed's recent post, Culture Shock, made me think of the EC, and the conversation, I think, intersects with what we've been talking about here:

"Not only does America have it's own culture, but Christians -- especially American Christians -- tend to have our own culture as well. We have certain standards of behavior to which we expect conformity. "Don't rock the boat. Don't examine our reasoning too closely. Don't look at things as Jesus would. Just do it our way." How nice.

There are many customs which we elevate to a status equal with Scripture at times. Oh sure, we'd never admit outloud that our traditions were that important, but just try to break one of those unwritten (and occasionally written) rules. Some church boards come unglued if the pastor changes the order of service. Tongues start to wag if a person attends church in less than shirt and tie or a dress and heels. And heaven help the mother who doesn't sprint from the sanctuary when the baby starts to fuss during the sermon....

Today a lady was telling me about the current controversy at her church. There are a few young men who attend the services wearing ball caps. And apparently there are some who equate a baseball cap with the gates of hell. Actually, many are complaining that the guys are not showing respect by refusing to remove their caps in the sanctuary. Such an act, they believe, is an offense toward God. I haven't spoken with the young men in question, but I'd bet it has more to do with them not wanting to fix their hair on a Sunday morning. But these guys don't consider it a lack or respect. To them a hat is just another item of apparel, not an instrument which causes disruption. Either way, some questions are raised. Is it more important to honor cultural norms like removing one's hat or simply to be in worship to begin with? Is covering one's head disrespectful in general or just disrespectful in our current culture? What standards of behavior do we expect to be a part of a worship service? Are we just being legalistic? "

(Ach, the whole post is so good I just want to re-post it in its entirety!) THIS is where I see merit in what some people who are attracted to the EC are saying. Some relatives of mine were recently incensed with a young male friend of my cousin's. Why? He, like MANY other guys his age, didn't remove his hat after coming indoors and eating with the family.

This stuff happens in churches all the time, and it's nothing short of ridiculous. It brings dishonor to the name of Christ. I once attended a church that had people who were apoplectic when the order of service was rearranged (I'm not kidding--the poor pastoral staff was fielding angry calls all week!).

I commented to Ed's post,

"I would agree with those who find Emergent stuff tantalizing because they have a thirst for authenticity, which I think for many people translates to: "I just want Christianity without all these Pharisaical rules." (Your example of the baseball cap was, IMO, a great example of this, as were your other examples.)

I am sure you know what I think of the other aspects of the EC, but I can totally relate to that passionate desire to break things down to the bare bones.

You wrote, 'More importantly, how many people have we driven away from Christ and from His Church by expecting a recent convert to have instantly rid herself of all habits and behaviors which traditionalists could find offensive?'

ITA. Even when it comes to not living like the world--it's a process. God works in our lives over time. We have to help new (or stumbling) disciples understand what it means to live the Christian life without snuffing out the smoldering wick."

So, to answer Keith's question--yeah, I find things in what the EC people say that isn't all bad. And I apologize for leaving that part of the discussion out. I do find it more important to warn my brothers and sisters, though, about a movement I (still) consider errant and very capable of leading others astray than to talk about the areas in which it's okay. But there is a time and place to do that, so here we are.

The thing is, the major problems with the Emergent movement are not about baseball caps and contemporary songs vs. hymns (and Ed's post wasn't about the EC). The problems I've mentioned go deeper--what is truth? Is the Bible the inspired, infallible message from God? Is Jesus the only way to salvation and the Kingdom? I can't and won't compromise on any of these big issues that I see the EC wanting to "question." I asked those questions, and had them answered by the Holy Spirit (and by subsequent study), when I decided to follow Jesus and be His disciple. Actually, He's still answering many of questions--but I know that He does have all the answers, and that they're not found anywhere else.

Created to Be His Help Meet: Part 9

As we did for the last several weeks (see my sidebar for archived review posts),
Jenna at Proletarian
Karen at Roses and Tea
Sal at Stand up and Walk and I are reflecting on Debi Pearl's new book, Created to Be His Help Meet (which you can order here). Molly usually joins us, but she's just had a son, so she's a little indisposed!

Yeah, I am still behind in my reviewing. You know, the great thing about blogging is that it's not schoolwork, and I can't have points deducted for tardy work! Heh. Anyway--down to business.

At this point in the book (all the other reviewers pointed this out last week), Part One ends and Part Two begins: Debi breaks down Titus 2:3-5 into chunks to show women how God's Word is actually blasphemed if we do not obey Him in these designated areas.

Titus 2:3-5
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

"Even though it is not the unpardonable sin," she writes, "it sure is a scary thing for Paul to say about young wives." The Greek word translated "blasphemed" in the KJV is blasphemeo, which other Bibles translate as "dishonored" or "maligned." Honestly, those sound watered down to me. If it blasphemes the Word for women to disobey God in these areas, then let's call a spade a spade!

Chapter 15: To Be Sober

This is one of the chapters that seem to be written for a mother at home--but that doesn't mean that nothing applied to me (a childless woman who works outside the home). Debi charges women to thoughtfully care for their homes in order to maintain peace and joy within its walls:

"When a woman soberly considers the needs, time schedule, and resources of her home, then she will be a more efficient help meet. This planning will eliminate tension and help set a peaceful mood."

The point here is not that all of the household management rests on the woman's shoulders; it's that there is so very much a woman can do to make things run smoothly in the home, making it a "refuge from the stress of life."

This is an area I've allowed myself to be lax in, using my childlessness and personal living situation as an excuse. I'm really good about meals, but have a tendency to procrastinate about everything else. I'm so tired after working all day and making dinner at night, but if I planned more diligently and wasn't so (ouch) lazy at times, my house would be more in order. (Note to self: less blogging, more cleaning.) Anyway.

Chapter 16: To Love Their Husbands

(I suppose I should warn you that I get a teeny bit graphic here.)

One thing I've heard about Purpose-Driven Life that I like (no, I am not a fan, but that's another post) is that Warren tells people: "It's not about YOU." I like that. I need to hear that. Over and over.

"Loving [your husband] means putting his needs before your own....We were, and are, created to be help meets. Every day and every night we need to be ready to minister to his needs."

WHAT? You mean I am supposed to esteem others more highly than MYSELF?!

Phil 2:3-4
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Debi takes this opportunity, in telling us to LOVE OUR HUSBANDS, to exhort women to wholeheartedly, enthusiastically cultivate their sex lives with their husbands. I completely agree with her and believe that this area should be laid out for women much more clearly and emphatically than it usually is.

"There are a multitude of excuses women use to explain why they would 'rather not' or why they 'cannot respond' sexually. I believe I have heard them all. Her husband knows in his spirit that all her excuses are just that: excuses for not wanting him. When a woman is not interested in his most consuming passion, he feels that she is not interested in him. When a woman just 'allows, cooperates, and tolerates,' it leaves a man feeling sick at heart....A man's most basic needs are warm sexual love, approval, and admiration. For his wife to be willing but indifferent, speaks of neither sex nor love. A woman is a fool to believe her own excuses..."

Look, there may indeed be some legitimate reasons why a woman (or a man) is not able to get excited. I have two things to say about that: A) it is absolutely that person's responsibility to seek to rectify that, and B) we're not really talking about medical exceptions here. We're talking about, "Oh, honey, I have a headache." Night after night.

Changing one's attitude about this is just like changing attitudes about everything else we've addressed in these reviews--it's not different because it's sex. Every married person deserves a fulfilling sex life, and it's part and parcel of what you VOWED TO DO before God and man. It's not created to be drudgery or "duty;" it's created to be joyful and satisfying. If we're regarding it as the former, the very first thing I believe we should do is examine our hearts and see what kinds of thoughts we've allowed ourselves to think that may be leading to our distaste or coldness or inertia.

Sorry, I've got to quote this part (priceless!!):

"If you are not interested in sex, then at least be interested in him enough to give him good sex."

And one more, because her warning provides sobering food for thought.

"It is a man's duty to walk in truth and have high integrity, but a woman who trusts in a man's ability to endure all things, while providing circumstances that test him to the max, is a fool. It is your duty to fulfill his sexual needs."

This duty is not just that of the wife--the husband has the same obligation (wonderful obligation!) to his wife.

1 Cor 7:2-4
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Choosing Home: Unfastening the Latch

This post is a part of the collective house-warming party for Choosing Home, a beautiful site that represents the combined efforts of Molly and Jenna (whom you may recognize from our myriad CTBHHM reviews). The ladies have issued a general invitation to all bloggers interested in writing something touching on the topic of choosing to stay at home.

I suspect that my post will be unlike all the others. I've wanted to be a full-time home manager (heh) since shortly after I married--and I knew even before that that I wanted to stay at home and raise my child(ren), should I be so blessed. Time and again I was drawn to the Proverbs 31 Woman, who is such a wonderful steward of her resources, managing her home beautifully and efficiently, and the Titus 2 directive, which (I believe) reveals the beautiful plan the Lord has for women:

Prov 31:13-18
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

Titus 2:3-5
Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

In the first months of my marriage to Ryan, I pored over books like Mary Pride's The Way Home and Martha Peace's The Excellent Wife. I researched homeschooling, pregnancy and birth, and anything touching on domestic arts with a voracious appetite. In those precious months I established my personal understanding of and desire for homemaking.

There was just one problem...we were in major debt. We still are. Our debt is a result of my grad school loans, two bouts of unemployment (thanks, dot-com bust), and a hefty dose of "we're twenty-five and don't know how to budget" foolishness. Ryan and I made an agreement that I would work until we had a child or got out of debt...and four years later, here we are.

Looking at the whole of Scripture, I believe it's in the best interest of the home (especially the home with children--but really, any home) for the wife to be primarily, well, in the home, basing her ventures from there and ensuring, day by say, that the household runs smoothly and well.

It's been an encouragement to me to see God use me in my places of employment (and there have been many in those four years!). I've been a teacher, an editor, a church secretary, and a personal assistant, and in each place it's been clear to me why the Lord has placed me in my particular situation. It's not a surprise or a mystery to Him. We can't make Titus 2 and Prov 31 an edict: "Thou Shalt Be at Home No Matter What." But that doesn't mean it's not the Scriptural ideal, and one we should desire and seek to attain.

I eagerly await the next chapter in my own life. Whether or not the Lord opens my womb or lays it on our hearts to adopt a child, I long to stop being a secretary for other men and be a full-time helper for Ryan. I see my own home in a constant state of near-disarray (okay, major disarray); I am always flying by the seat of my pants, hanging on by my fingernails. And I just don't believe it's quite supposed to be this way.

I don't judge women who aren't at home--I look at my own situation and understand that circumstances sometimes prevent us from doing what we see as the ideal in God's Word. But where are our hearts, and when we have freedom to choose, what do we choose? Are we willing to listen to the Lord, and value what He does?
It is beautiful when Christian women, regardless of their domestic situation, recognize and reach for God's best in their lives. Regardless of my past and all my mistakes, He can make good come out of it, and He will--using my current circumstances to His glory in the process!

A Bit O' Friday Fun

From Friday's Feast:

Appetizer
Approximately how many hours per day do you spend watching television?

Ummm...just about none, since we don't have TV. We do go to the apartment complex's gym, and sometimes we're subjected to other people's viewing choices. Lately I've seen things I never thought I would: an episode of Punk'd, a disturbing look into Flava Flav's relationship with Brigitte Nielsen, and some show about a casino in Vegas. Blech. Always reminds me, as if I needed a reminder, why we don't have TV.

Soup
Which colors decorate your kitchen?

We live in a tiny apartment in Southern California. It was newly renovated before we moved in, but hey, it's still an apartment. Cream-colored walls, maple cabinets.

Salad
Name 2 brand names you buy on a regular basis, and what do you like about them?

1. I'll buy almost anything from Trader Joe's. If we move away from CA, this might just be what I'd miss most!
2. Alessi White Balsamic Vinegar. That, a little olive oil, feta cheese and romaine lettuce, and I am set!

Main Course
What is your biggest fear?
Apostasy. And being killed. But, that said, I know that the only thing I need to fear, in the Biblical sense, is the Lord. Jesus said:

Luke 12:4-6
"I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that have no more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear the One who, after He has killed, has authority to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him!"

Dessert
If you could wake up tomorrow and find yourself in another location, where would you want to be?

Either my mom and dad's house in Georgia, my old home in South Carolina, or Hawaii.

Bonus Birthday Question
What's your favorite flavor of birthday cake?

Ah, I love tackling the really tough questions. I love the traditional yellow cake with fudgy icing!

_______

You can see Sal's responses here and Carla's responses here.