Molly at My Three Pennies
Jenna at Proletarian
Karen at Roses and Tea
Sal at Stand up and Walk and I are reflecting on Debi Pearl's new book, Created to Be His Help Meet (which you can order here).
NB: Well, if Molly isn't in labor, maybe she'll have her review up soon. Also, don't miss Holly's hilarious spoof, Created to Be Their Mother (warning: bathroom humor involved. Hee hee).
Chapter Eleven: The Nature of Man and Woman
Listen, for I tell you a great mystery (I hope you're sitting down!): men and women are different. They were created by God to serve in different capacities and to complement one another. To the feminists' great chagrin, and despite the best efforts of the last generation of scientists and psychologists, in all the experiments I've ever read about, little boys reach for trucks and trains while little girls want to nurture dolls.
Are there exceptions? Yes. Is it wrong for a boy to have something to nurture or for a girl to have a great Hot Wheels collection? No--in fact, I had an enviable one when I was younger (and a racing track made of blocks to go with it!). But the fact remains that the way God created men shows up in what they do, and the same goes for women.
"Men fly to the moon, climb treacherous mountains, fight wild animals, challenge each other in any sport, and laugh with loud hilarious delight the whole time. They like to play or watch games where they knock each other down, just to prove who is the strongest and the toughest".
I can't speak for you, ladies, but I know that I am...just not like that. I watch my husband horse around with his buddy with my mouth agape as they tussle and playfully brag about who is the best and strongest. (And quite honestly, I am thinking, "Whew...I am glad to be a GIRL!")
We live in an age where women have striven to play on the same fields as men, in the same sports, competing in the same arenas. I hate to break it to everyone, but the last time I checked, the women's tee in golf is separate from the men's. Why? Men are stronger and can hit the ball farther (did I say that out loud?). Women are not in the NFL, and it's not gender discrimination. We weren't created the same and cannot carry out the same functions with the same efficiency and might.
Debi reminds us in this chapter that Eve was deceived by the serpent, and 1 Timothy 2:13-14 tells us that Adam was not deceived. Whether it was a product of the resultant fall or whether Eve was created a little more gullible doesn't really matter: the bottom line is that as Christian women, we have to know this about ourselves. We are Eve's daughters in the flesh, but if we do what is right without giving in to fear, we are Sarah's daughters, begotten of the Holy Spirit. Let us hear this warning, women, and not refuse to listen out of pride.
"Eve was deceived in three ways:
1. She followed her flesh in desiring the tree for its food properties.
2. She succumbed to its beauty, desiring it for its pleasant appearance. She did not follow logic; she followed her 'sensibilities.'
3. She wanted 'deeper' spiritual insights than those provided by God.
The source of Eve's failure was her unwillingness to believe God and her husband. She was meant to be Adam's helper, but she helped herself to spiritual knowledge and acted independently, becoming his downfall instead of his help meet" (emphasis mine).
Debi warns women in this chapter against having a heightened view of their own "spirituality" and reveling in gnosis (secret knowledge--she doesn't use the word, but it fits).
We must be cognizant of our own weaknesses and of the devil's schemes, because our men are vulnerable, at times, only to us. It was true, Debi points out, of Adam, Samson, Solomon, and David. Heed Scripture, and remember who God has appointed as head of the household.
"Adam, the first man, Samson, the strongest man, Solomon, the wisest man, and even David, the man listed as being after God's own heart, were all brought down by the women they loved."
That is not to solely blame the women in those situations--but what role did they play?
Debi has written an article on Jezebel, whom she calls "the exact opposite of a help meet." You can get the full version (CTBHHM only has an abbreviated one) here.
Chapter Twelve: By Divine Appointment
This chapter is best summed up in the header: "The only position where you will find real fulfillment as a woman is as a help meet to your husband."
Need that spoken more plainly?
"Your husband, dud that he may 'appear' to be, is appointed by God to be your immediate Superior Officer in the chain of command. Your position under him is where God put you for your own spiritual, emotional, and physical safety....Don't worry about the quality of his leadership, for he is under the oversight of Jesus Christ. He must answer to God for how he leads his 'troops.' You must answer to God for how you obey the one He has placed over you....In all of this 'submit to your superior' talk, remember this: God is focusing your attention on the heavenly pattern. The emphasis is not on women submitting to men, but rather on women showing, here on earth, the heavenly pattern of the Son submitting to the Father."
This cannot be emphasized enough when we discuss this subject, I believe. It's easy to start focusing on earthly relationships and inner desires and start thinking, "Wait a minute here! This is a bunch of sexist garbage, and I HAVE RIGHTS!"
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
HE HUMBLED HIMSELF. I am shamed when I read that, just thinking of all the times I have grumbled or had a terrible attitude.
I pray--for all of us--that when our flesh starts clamoring for its rights, God will remind us of Jesus' servanthood. He humbled Himself so we could have Life. Will we humble ourselves so our marriages can reflect His glory?