"Husbands like to fix things, stuff in the house as well as stuff in my life. If I had wanted someone to commiserate with me about feeling fat or having a bad hair day, I should have kept my college roommate. A husband will never take you to Baskin-Robbins to listen to you drown your cellulite troubles in a triple dip Rocky Road sugar cone. Husbands do not understand that your bad hair can be fixed by browsing through Nordstrom's online shoe department."
Let's just say I can identify. I wonder how long it took Karen to figure this out...because it took me a long time. I think I am a slow learner relationally. I concur with her: wives should not attempt to plug husbands into the "girlfriend" outlet. I can't count the number of times I have said or thought, "But I just wanted to TALK about it! I'm not looking for a SOLUTION!" To which, if I actually said that, Ryan replies, "Why did you bring it up if you don't want to solve it?" That's what I get for marrying a smart, frank, matter-of-fact engineer. He is a problem solver. TIMES TEN.
But, you know, sometimes you just need to talk without being given a solution for a problem that a) is not fixable, b) isn't a problem, really, but you're dealing with
If someone had informed me that all (okaaaaay, most) men are problem-solvers, and if you just want to talk you'd better call mama or your best friend, it would have saved me a lot of confusion, and Ryan a lot of frustration (poor guy--I mean, it does make sense that someone would want a problem solved. Women are illogical in this area, I'll readily admit).
What do you wish someone had told you before marriage?
(NB: I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Karen's post on women bloggers, which she wrote in response to the issue several of us discussed recently. I found her perspective interesting.)