"If you think about it, I'd be interested in what submitting to your husband means to you in everyday life. What are some examples of circumstances where you would submit but someone else might refuse to? As I said, I'm still learning..."
First, Jodi and everyone else, I gotta tell you that I am not the poster child for this. I just feel like I have so far to go, many times (kind of like what Christy was saying about feeling like you're at "square one" after a petty quarrel). So I write this to all of us, to encourage us and challenge us, not as someone who's got it all figured out and does it right every time (I know, shocker).
To me a big part of submission is recognizing that Ryan is the leader and acting accordingly. He is the head of me, as Christ is the head of the church (1 Cor 11:3), and the Word instructs me to obey him as unto the Lord (Eph 5:22), a phrase you do not see applied to the husband's submission to the wife (the mutual submission referenced in the preceding verse). I am charged with helping him (Gen 2:18) fulfill his calling before the Lord. Part of that calling, de facto, is leadership over his household.
Okay, that's still abstract, and you wanted to know how it works out in real life. I can only speak for my own situation, but for us things come up daily--situations that need to be resolved, decisions that need to be made, plans that need to be implemented. Ryan trusts me, for example, with our finances, and I am the one who enters everything into Microsoft Money. We've worked it out where we don't have to "ask" each other about every little thing we buy ("Honey, can I go to Starbucks this morning? Thanks!"), but in bigger things, we do. He wouldn't buy some pricey gadget without talking to me first (um, generally). ;-) Ryan and I are both satisfied with this arrangement. But let's say that he felt we were spending too much money, and he felt led to take the financial "reins" and (horrors!) halt our Starbucks forays. Sure, I can tell him what I think (respectfully), but ultimately it's my duty and role to say, "Okay, sweetie--we'll do what you think is best." It is his duty not to be unloving and harsh, and to make decisions he thinks are the best for our family and are in God's will.
So many of the specifics are going to depend on the personality and preferences of you and your husband. Some men much prefer for their wives to make the "little" decisions, like where to eat when they go out, what's for dinner (can you tell I am hungry?), clothing, and bigger ones, like keeping track of the finances. Other men like to have a say in what goes on even in little things, and that's okay, too, as long as he is loving to his wife and she respectful to him.
The hard part is being obedient and loving when the other person isn't, er, being everything God calls them to be at that moment. If I am selfish and petulant, for example, it doesn't automatically throw God's Word out the window and give Ryan license to be harsh and unloving. Loving one another with God's love means that even when your spouse is stumbling, you're looking to Jesus (not your spouse) for strength and guidance. We are all responsible to the Lord for our individual walk with Him (we can't blame bad attitudes and disobedience on anyone else, even our spouse who is dropping the ball). Ryan and I have had talks about this recently, as at times (GASP!) one or the other of us drops the ball. We HAVE to be rooted in Christ, deny ourselves, and take up our crosses to do any of this according to the will and Word of God.
I don't know if I gave you instances where others would "refuse to submit." The whole thing is a heart condition: how willing is the husband, and how willing is the wife, to be like Jesus? Many times, either you realize what God is calling you to be as a man or woman in Christ, and you're willing to do as He asks, or you're going to demand your "rights" and, basically, not do things the way God lays out.
Rachel had some incredible answers to her friend Jenn's questions about Christianity--and her response related to this topic, which is far more stellar than my above ramblings, can be found here (the last comment posted so far).
Also, Molly had an incredible series on marriage that had a huge impact on me. It's one of the first posts I read of hers.
Addendum: Matthew McDill also has some insights in his March 14th post.
Guys, I don't know if I presented this one clearly, so please ask for clarification if something seems wack. I am a little foggy and not feeling tip-top, so go easy. :)